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My morning, slightly off, took a turn for the worst over an online argument. A simple misunderstanding blew out of proportion only on my side and while yelling alone in the front of the computer, my partner entered the room and made it worse.
Wonderfully upset by him and the situation, instead of keeping score of who has done what, he took my hand, lead me upstairs to the window and calmly pointed toward the sunset breaking through the grey sky.
I had not looked at an open view in a while, and I came to realise I missed the sun so much., the more I looked at it, the more my tears poured out reminding me Life is meant to be enjoyed.
Lately, everything had been grey like the sky and fun like the Groundhog Day movie: colourless and repetitive for more than a year now. All I could think was the constant don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t, don’t, don’t and don’t.
The loss of freedom to choose for myself, for my life and the lack of choices this last past year brought, added to the sadness I was already pouring out of me.
All we can do is work with the constant reminder of what we cannot do.
This ray of sunshine revealed how much I wanted to hear, yes you can. Yes, you can see your family, yes you can travel, yes you can spend one day at the sea to see something else than four walls, yes you can see someone else’s smile, yes you can work without hundreds of restrictions, just simply YES to Life.
The whole world seems to have vanished into a constant fear brushing off joy into an inaccessible hole; at least where I live. I am not listening to the news and still, I hear and see fear taking almost over everyone: fear of dying, fear of life, fear of losing a job, fear of losing someone, fear of being alone, fear of breathing, fear of talking to someone, fear of touching another human being and it goes on, but wasn’t all this already there before and now magnified by the whole situation?
The vast majority of the world is suffocating under all these restrictions destroying Life itself and the more we become fearful, the more we attract and create a fearful world. It has not started last year though if we are truly looking at ourselves.
This sunset reminded me of the endless beautiful possibilities of this world that I forgot lately and how hearing No! all the time affected me.
I stayed there for a while, crying.
The online issue I had earlier was just a trigger for the bottled-up mess within me and while I worked through my emotions, the problem sorted itself out. I could have avoided all the drama but clearly, I was meant to release and realise something deeper.
We have more power within ourselves than we think we have. Changing how we feel and how we think is the key to changing this world and allow Life. Acknowledging our emotional turmoil is pretty much all we can do right now; releasing it is the following step to truly change. Fear coupled with Anger and Guilt are amongst the biggest obstacles to enjoying Life as it should be.
Days later, snow drops showed up with the emergence of crocuses and daffodils announcing the first days of spring. The sun showed up a bit more and with it, possibilities about Life.
Jenny.
Image by Stocksnap.
