by Rev. Kerry duVent, CHt

In that moment of this morning where I was not quite awake and not quite asleep, I heard myself send a plea to the Universe with rather interesting results. From the outside looking in, it could be said that things are not easy for me right now. Truth is, from the inside looking out that could also be said. I'm in the middle of a HUGE change in my life and that is never an easy time for anyone. I am unsure of many things as I wobble along trying to figure out how to use what feels like a new set of legs (or, perhaps, wings) and I hold on to the edges of the furniture of thought or land on my bottom suddenly as a baby does when she loses her balance.

So, there I lay, not quite awake in the wee sma's of the day, slowly becoming aware of wondering if I'll ever learn to walk or fly in this new life of mine and the words began:
"Please?please?."
"Please, what?"
"Please, I need help. Don't let me fall. Please, let me make it past these blocks. Please, please. Show me what I need. If you could?"
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Beg."
"I'm sorry?"
"Why do you beg us for what you need?"
"I don't? I didn't? um?"
"How is it that you do not even yet know who you are? You, dear one, are not charity. Charity is a lovely concept created by all of you that was to have meant kindness, understanding and genuine caring while helping another. It was to be given in the spirit of recognition that every human without fail will need help at one or more times in one lifetime - no one person above or below. But, charity is a word we know you struggle with because the real meaning behind that word has become clouded. Charity has come to mean begging and you have already experienced it many times as being looked down on and treated as less than, as a burden and even abused by those who felt themselves more privileged or higher than you at the time. This is unfortunate. But what is even more unfortunate to us is that there is a part of you that accepted these unkind energies as being 'just' for you have always disliked asking for help and have, therefore, felt the beggar. And this tends to flow, now and then, into your conversations with us.

"When you are sat around a table with close friends eating and you ask for the bread to be passed to you, how does that occur? Is it not true that you simply ask and know it will be done? Is it not true that you might even simply hold out your hand in anticipation of receiving that bread? And is it not true that the bread is, indeed, passed to you and that you simply say thank you as you remove what you need from the plate and set it down as you bite into the bread? "There is never a thought in your head that you will not receive the bread because there is plenty on the table and you are amongst those whom you love and you know they love you. You do not have to beg them repeatedly for it. You do not have to chase them through the house or even around outside, trying desperately to get to the bread; trying to find a way.

"That the plate of bread may pass from hand to hand in getting to you does not suddenly mean you should feel ashamed in receiving it because others helped get the bread to you. Nor does it mean that the bread is not available because it sits on the other side of the table and you feel trapped in the corner seat next to the wall and can't think of how to get to the bread from there. You merely ask, knowing that it will be given and it is. Is this not true?"
"Well?yes?"
"So, then, why is it you come to us and beg? You speak to us sometimes as if you feel that if you beg enough for long enough you may get a crust or a crumb of that bread when all is yours already. There is nothing we would or could not do for you. There is no condition and no limit to our love for you. Just ask knowing your worth, believing you will receive, giving thanks because you know it will be done, and you will, most definitely, receive all that you ask and more.

And so we say to you, you are not charity as you think of the word. You are not a beggar. You hold within you the loving power, beauty and worth of the Divine. Of course you are worthy, of course it will be done. Do not worry. You will be fine. You will fly. Of course, dear one, of course."

And I awoke fully then with tears in my eyes and these words in my head: "You hold within you the loving power, beauty and worth of the Divine." -- True for me? true for you.

Copyright © 2010, Kerry duVent. Used here with her permission