by Ronnee Ruselle

A great conversationalist is popular with most people because they are positive, informative and friendly. This person is the one that everyone wants to know and be near to. Using the following tips will help you be this person.

Research beforehand - It is hard to come up with conversations sometimes with new people. This can be made easier if you can find a subject that you both know a little about. The newspaper can help with this. It is full of conversation starters and interesting subjects you could discuss. If you find subjects that particularly take your interest, go ahead and research them a little more. People from other countries will be impressed if you know a little about what is currently happening in their country.

Compliments - A compliment can help start a conversation and makes the other person feel good. When you see something you like, compliment the other person but be genuine and don't overdo it or you will seem insincere and embarrass the person you are complimenting.

Avoid controversial topics - They kill the conversation so if you recognize somebody with strong views in the conversation, look for topics of shared interest rather than challenging them. Political and religious topics are the sort you would normally avoid and any topics you might passionately disagree with others on. Instead, show appreciation for what they are saying and introduce a new topic without being too obvious.

Jokes - Be careful with the types of jokes you use. Avoid anything controversial until you know the person well and can gauge what sort of jokes they will respond well to. However it is good to have a sense of humour so if you make a mistake, a small laugh about it will help remove embarrassment from the situation and make the people around you feel comfortable. Also, if another person makes a joke that you don't find funny then just laugh or at least smile. If they are offensive and you wish to not continue talking to them, excuse yourself politely and move away.

Listen well - This is perhaps the most important tip when meeting anybody. Let them see that you have their attention and are listening carefully to them. You can help by repeating back a few things to verify that you have heard correctly. This gives you some interaction back, lets them see that you're listening and allows them a chance to correct you if you misunderstand anything.

Never interrupt - Allow the person speaking to finish what they are saying, no matter how boring their conversation may be or how excited you are to speak.

Ignore mistakes - If other people make mistakes, do not correct them or reprimand them. Be enthusiastic - Show the other person that you are interested in their story by showing through body language and expression that you are interested.

Help keep things pleasant - Sometimes people speak more harshly than intended or make comments not realizing that they may be offending others. A great conversationalist will know how to help ease such situations by steering the comment away from the person who is offended.

Avoid Unnecessary Information - Another good conversationalist will ask you questions in return and when they do, answer the question giving them enough information so that their question is answered but don't go too far. For example if someone asks you about your job, you could give them a rough rundown on what you do, avoiding the technical jargon and other details that go along with it. At the same time, don't 'under-do' the information by only giving them short, cut-off responses because they will give the impression that you do not really want to talk to them.

Talking is a two-way street - Listening and asking the other person for information is important as I've already said, however, you don't want the person to feel as if they are being interrogated so now and then, you share a little information of equal value when they have finished. Then you could perhaps ask them another question. This will help them feel comfortable.

Don't assume - One of the most common fears people have is meeting others, talking in front of a group and establishing conversations. If another person is not a great conversationalist, perhaps they are shy. Don't assume they don't want to talk to you. Help them by using the tips mentioned here to make them feel comfortable and in time they will warm to you. Sometimes you won't know that they have until later so keep a positive view on the situation no matter what happens.

Be yourself - This is very important. Don't lie, don't exaggerate what you do or who you are and try to be relaxed. This person may be a future friend and you may share some common interests. You will find out by being yourself.

Smile - This shows that you are happy to be speaking to the other person. You may have hard times around you in your life, but chances are that most of the people in the room can say the same. Smile anyway. It will help pick you up even if it starts out to be forced.

Speak clearly, slow down and avoid local slang - These are all things that will make it difficult for people from outside of your area to understand what you are saying. Avoid speaking as if you are talking to somebody who is hard of hearing or has learning difficulties. Sometimes people do this without meaning to. Practice before the occasion if necessary.

You might also like to read: Conversation Killers