Tips for a less stressful, more meaningful Christmas
by Ronnee Ruselle
Christmas is a beautiful time of year, but it's also an expensive, stress-filled time of year. Due to the commercialisation and the pressure to give the latest techno-gifts etc. on the market, some people are spending almost as much on Christmas each year as they could on a new car.
I can remember when I was a child watching my Mother slaving away in the kitchen making everything just 'perfect' after weeks of preparation and planning. It was so intense and it was so important to her that everything go right, that if the slightest thing went wrong (and of course it would because nothing is perfect) we would end up with my mum and dad arguing. Every Christmas was the same - started out great and ended in exhaustion and arguing.
Mum wanted everything perfect for us all, but what she didn't realize was that if she'd not tried so hard and had relaxed, we would have had a wonderful Christmas.
I believe that Christmas should be enjoyed by all including the mother so I learned from that experience and over the years I have put together a few new ways of enjoying Christmas that takes the stress out of it for all concerned. Now every year is a beautiful love-filled experience for our family so I hope these ideas help to make your Christmas even better too.
Give less presents - This may sound cheap, but it's not. The point to this is to appreciate Christmas and the spirit of giving of ourselves rather than expecting a heap of gifts. Rather than overwhelming the family or granting a child's every wish, just purchase one major gift or two smaller ones or you could try putting a limit on the amount you spend. The less you spend, the more creative you are and you find more interesting gifts when you have to search so we make a limit of about $100 for each child. With our eldest, he sometimes asks for the money in cash so that he can have fun spending it how he likes to. He has become quite responsible and clever with his purchases and gets quite a few things for it. Sometimes he'll settle for a few second hand games in preference for one new one whereas if we had to give them to him, he would have wanted them all new. He always comes home with a big smile on his face saying how much more fun it is to shop for his presents. Remember that the sales are on after Christmas and the kids love them as much as we do. Just keep them away from the major ones where people are climbing over each other to save $1.
Give Your Time - I figure that there's one thing that your children will want more than the gifts and that's you. Having less gifts and giving more of yourself will make it a wonderful Christmas for the family. Instead of opening presents and then all going your own separate ways, how about pulling out a board game and enjoying a game together or buying some treats and watching a movie together. Have a Christmas drink and some treats while relaxing and sharing stories with the children about Christmas when you were a child or funny Christmas stories you've heard. They love to hear about the past too so perhaps you could let them know about famous events that happened at Christmas. Sure, it might take a little research on your part, but you'll all have a great time, the kids will learn and they'll be so proud at their knowledgeable parent. You could start a new tradition where each year a member of the family has to make up and tell a Christmas story.
Giving Valued Memories - This year we're adding another element to the gift giving. We're going to purchase one gift and make one gift, so each of us makes a gift for a member of the family. The idea behind this is to enjoy the time and effort that went into the gift rather than the monetary value. It will create lasting memories and help to add more value to the gift than what it can do and how much it cost. It also gives the little ones a chance to come up with something for themselves just like everyone else rather than relying upon mum and dad to supply it although each little child should have the help of a parent to come up with something.
Give to somebody who needs it - Every year we emphasize the idea of Christmas with the children as being about giving, appreciating and connecting with others. Part of that is to give to someone outside of the family who needs it. Sometimes we give to someone we know who needs something, sometimes we donate to a charity or a worthy cause, sometimes give of ourselves spending time with someone who is lonely. The value is different each year and we try to be creative so that the children learn of many different ways to give. It's fun to sit and think up ideas together and they feel really good about themselves and so do we.
Stay home with the family - This follows on from the previous idea where the gifts aren't the major part of the day. Many people spend Christmas day driving and visiting and by the end of the day they're exhausted and didn't really enjoy the day just for themselves. A good idea is to re-organise your visiting plans so that you are at home with the kids all day or someone special rather than moving from place to place. Plan to spend time together playing board games, swimming in the pool if you're in a warmer climate or snuggling up and watching a movie with a warm cup of cocoa in the colder climates. There are no expectations from others and you all get to relax and enjoy your day. We started doing this a few years ago when we realized that we were always exhausted on Christmas day and didn't get to really have a loving family day. When we told our kids our plan to stay home on Christmas day from now on, they cheered. We go out on the other days around Christmas and haven't missed out on a thing except the stress.
Make Christmas Simple - Sometimes things get a little 'over the top' around Christmastime with decorations and homes that look more like department store windows than a home. So much money and time is spent making everything 'just perfect' that when something goes wrong, the shine is taken off the day and can ruin it. If you ease up a little and make it a simple day, relax and enjoy yourself with the family, you'll have a much happier Christmas and so will they so instead of traditional turkey, why not sit down and think of what your favourite foods are and have those - even if it's a bolognaise or a sandwich. We did this with our kids a couple of years ago and they had the best day because the food they had was their favourite dishes rather than what they felt they 'had' to have simply because it was associated with Christmas. Rather than the traditional fare, the kids chose a simple menu and it ended up being easier on us.
Enjoy more than just the day - In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I spend a little time each week talking about Christmas with the kids and working on hand made decorations to decorate. They are so proud when they see their fun work displayed and enjoyed over Christmas. Even just printed images that are coloured in are very popular. It introduces many personal moments between myself and my children and I know that it also gives them ideas for things to do with their own children when they grow up.
The point behind Christmas is to make it yours. Change how you do things. Ask the kids what they'd like to do and what they'd like to eat. Think of how much more enjoyable the day will be to hug your kids and talk to them rather than rushing off to be somewhere else. When they do go off to play with their toys, you can enjoy some quiet time with your partner. Use the time to connect and appreciate each other.
Have a wonderful Christmas.