A Healing Journey
by Donna Thomson
I'd been drawn to a book about a man's journey to balance his medical training with his Native American roots to create a holistic healing experience for people. Towards the end of the book there was a story relating the healing of a woman and on this particular day I found myself continually referring to myself while my emotions started to surface - pain from the past. I tried to push the emotion away but it wasn't going anywhere. I began writing in my journal and could feel one of my guides close by me. Emotions, questions and frustration flooded forward until I exclaimed "why now?", only to hear the instant response of "why not?".
So began a healing journey that was totally instinctual, yet it quickly became evident that the energy was travelling level-by-level through the chakras (if you are unfamiliar with chakras, click here to read an overview). I was also drawn to particular crystals to help with the various stages of healing. While it takes courage to share such a personal journey, I believe there are others who will indeed take something away from it. One of those reasons is that many words of wisdom were shared by the guides about the healing process in general. As a whole, this journey reminds us of the learning we can achieve through understanding pain.
The journey...
Guides: "Crying alone can release blockages. Recognising those blockages/that pain and acknowledging it is there is the first step."
I saw myself as a child and felt a lot of emotion. The emotion quickly turned to anger. I was angry at having to face this issue and angry that it even had importance. I was angry that it had happened and angry at the persons involved, including myself. My eyes were closed. I was upset and angry - gritting my teeth. I could feel a sense of release through the anger but I knew the journey was not over. I had been instinctively holding a golden calcite crystal on my sacral chakra. The colour of the crystal matched the colour of that chakra and I feel it helped to release energy blockages caused by that pain stemming from my childhood. Part of releasing that blockage happened when I pulled a large rope of energy from that area.
I found myself instinctively sweeping the remainder of the energy up towards my solar plexus where it transformed into a black tornado. I then placed a black tourmaline crystal on my solar plexus which is home for your sense of personal power. The tourmaline helped to absorb some of the negative energy. I saw a cord connecting myself to a person from the past and I realised that I'd been giving this person power over me by hanging onto this issue and not releasing it. I thanked that person (in my mind) and the situation for the lesson it brought. I then visually cut the cord to release the situation.
The tornado was still there so I pushed it up towards my heart area which felt quite uncomfortable. I got my rose quartz crystal egg and placed it on my heart chakra. I felt the need to forgive, so I sent forgiveness to the other person and to myself. I felt purity and love towards myself like I hadn't experienced before. At this time I saw my sacral chakra (where the pain originated) become pure. I asked that this chakra be as it should be in pure unblocked form. The guides replied that it always has been pure and only ever could be.
They continued: "It is mental blocks that are created in these areas. Energy can only ever truly be pure. Any negativity within the universe is mentally created. 'Thought forms' are vital to the existence of what you consider good and bad, pure and evil, pain and love. Real love is ALL. There is nothing else. There are many masks created by the mind. However, as you were told in your healing, the mind is essential for the lessons to come about. Thank it for its opportunity for you to learn and grow because of this. Always, the goal was to learn from this, just as you will learn from all other experiences."
I felt lighter in the sacral area. My toddler came into the room and had a photo of myself with my husband and children. I looked at myself in the photo and felt love for the person who is 'Donna' in this lifetime. I wrote: "I love that I am who I am...that I will be able to help people. I love that I am beautiful as part of the divine universe. It is all beauty. It only ever is."
I still felt there was part of the healing process I hadn't been through. I felt the energy needed to continue to move up through the chakras. I hadn't yet been able to state the actual issue on paper which was proof to me that there was still energy around it which was holding back full healing.
I held a blue calcite crystal egg and felt calmer. The energy was now at my throat chakra. I wrote, "I must speak the truth. It is hard but it must be done". My guides were saying that it must be told (even if only to my journal) in order to move on to 'understanding' and then 'transformation' into spirit/energy where it can become good again - like a complete cycle of energy. So I wrote about my issue in my journal.
As I reached the end of writing the details, I found I was writing from a more understanding perspective. The energy was now at the third eye chakra. I was finally seeing and feeling things from an adult perspective. I noted that I've always been a very feelings-oriented person and can create a lot of place for trauma of the mind and heart. I recognised specifically where the pain came from regarding the issue. I recognised how the issue from so long ago affected parts of my life and my feelings towards particular things as an adult.
I wrote: "Here has been a relatively small situation as I can view it with adult eyes, which has had the emotions of the child in me attached to it for 20 odd years. I don't need to hang on to these feelings any longer. They are the confusion of a child. I send this child healing from the future." I realised that I had dealt with the situation as best as I could as a child but lacked the emotional maturity of the adult to process the meaning and understand it.
I continued, "I could not process the situation, I could only feel the feelings and they have stayed rooted within me, waiting to be transformed through adult understanding. No harm was done. I have forgiven myself. I have forgiven others. I have sent my love to 'little Donna' so that she can see the beautiful person she is and always has been. She can now be a child again with pureness and delight in her heart. There are no shadows lurking because I send her knowledge of her own POWER which she keeps all for herself. I teach little Donna that she has given her power away to others and these are the times she has felt turmoil and imbalance. I show little Donna that she is strong and powerful, that other people have problems and I am a healer who has sent out 'fixing' energy to [others]. I cannot fix others. I can help them see the way to bring healing upon themselves if they wish to receive it, but it is not my burden to fix them."
I continued with what seemed to be my sense of 'place' in the universe. The pain energy had finally transformed via the crown chakra.
My guides concluded the experience with these words: "Hold a vision of yourself as you truly are. Create love in your life through yourself. It will radiate and become part of your life when you have filled yourself with the light of love."
So I had transformed my pain of the past into understanding, forgiveness and a much deeper knowledge of myself. In the process, as you have seen through my words, I also accessed the higher part of myself - my true self. I do not feel this way towards myself in normal day-to-day life, of course. I have daily struggles like anyone else. However, I feel proud of what I achieved during this healing journey and seeing the wisdom of my own words reminds me of a side of myself I hope to become more aligned with over time. I wish this for you too.