Being a first time Dad
by Grant Parker
It was the Thursday night before Easter and I had just got home from work at around 10.30. We were chatting in the kitchen about children when my wife, Niki said that she felt sick and was going to bed. I asked what had caused her to feel sick and she said "I'm pregnant". The wave of emotion that came over me - happiness, excitement, scared and tears of joy.
When your partner tells you those magical words, try to remember that no one will be as excited as you and your partner, so don't feel down if people don't show the same enthusiasm as you have.
From that day on it's amazing how much your lives change just during the term of the pregnancy. You have to start looking at what goes into food, where you go so you don't inhale too much smoke and we were going back to England for a visit for 4 weeks, so we had to arrange flights around the safest time of pregnancy.
This was made more difficult as Niki had a blood clot 2 years ago so we had to be careful with medications for that while we traveled. The hospital Doctor wanted Niki to take Clexane (blood thinning drug) but there is no medical evidence on the effects it can / cannot have on the baby, so this was a big decision for us to make. In the end the decision came down to gut instinct from both of us. We decided that instead of using medication, Niki would go with the travel stockings and drinking loads of water on the trip, as this was another alternative.
During the pregnancy I used to do things like rub Niki's stomach when we were in bed or on the couch and talk to him, I would also tell him how my day went. At other times I would read a little story or say the alphabet or numbers. I have no idea if he could hear me or not but that didn't matter, it was my little time with him. It does feel strange, awkward or a little embarrassing talking to your partner's stomach, but it feels so good too, knowing there's a little person in there.
It can be all a bit daunting with the fact that your lives have changed and once you start going around baby shops you can get lost in it all. You end up going to every single baby shop around you and then you start heading out to other suburbs as there may be a better deal there and then, yep, you go back to the start, but I guess you are always looking for a bargain. We went to every baby shop we could find and brought this and that and ended up with enough baby things to open our own shop.
While all of this was going on one of the thoughts that kept going through my mind was "How am I going to cope in the delivery room?", "Will I be supportive to my wife or will I be supporting the floor by passing out or just completely useless being the 1st time in this situation?" or "Will my baby have all fingers and toes?" and "Is the baby going to be healthy?, "How am I going to hold him and not drop him?" A lot of things went through my mind over and over again.
When the day finally came, I was at work and got that phone call that I'd been awaiting for a long time. I felt like yelling "Wahoo!" while I also freaked out a little. The drive home was one of the hardest I had done, as I was so excited and nervous, but I had to concentrate very hard as I didn't want to have an accident and miss everything.
Well we made it to the hospital, and they put us into a room where the mid-wife did some tests and put a monitor onto Niki's stomach to see if the baby was ok and not distressed. We were there for a little while when the mid-wife said it was time to go to the birthing suite. That's when the nerves and excitement kicked in for me, but I'm sure they would have been different feelings for Niki. Once we were at the birthing suite it was really a waiting game, so I was doing little things to keep my wife as comfortable as I could.
When the baby was just about here, all I really could do was hold onto Niki's hand so she could squeeze mine as hard as she could, that is where I felt a little bit useless as I couldn't doing anything for her pain, even though she had gas and air to help take some of the pain away, all I could do was be there and hold her and talk to her.
Wahoo!! The baby had finally turned up and to be honest none of the thoughts went through my mind about fainting as the whole experience is so overwhelming that I just concentrated on the baby coming into this world and how my wife was coping. Once he was born, the mid-wife grabbed him and asked if I would like to cut the umbilical cord - that's a pretty awesome feeling.
The only time things didn't seem right was when, after all of this, he still hadn't come around to normal human colour, he was still bluish in colour, and this was about 5 mins after being born so they took him down to the baby emergency room to check him out. I have to admit I was feeling worried (to be expected I suppose, being my first time) but fortunately by the time we made it to the room he had started getting colour. We turned around and headed back to the birthing suite so that mother and baby could have some time together. I tell you by the time all this had happened I was floating on cloud nine and nothing was going to bring me back to earth in too much of a hurry. I was smiling from ear to ear.
When mum and baby came home, all I wanted to do was show him off to everybody and now when we go down town, I'm the one who pushes the pushchair (pram), Niki hasn't got a chance of getting her hands on that pushchair, unless of course I'm carrying him around. It's amazing how many people stop and ask you questions and make a fuss over him.