What Happens When We Die
by Ronnee Ruselle
This is a subject that has long been wondered about. The relatives of those who pass away like to think that their loved one died with as little pain as possible and reached a place of comfort and love.
But since the dawn of time, retribution for one's bad behaviours has been associated with death as well. This is an area that people just don't know about unless they work with it as I do, so I thought that I would share with you the experiences I have had in the hopes that it helps bring some understanding to the subject.
This information comes from a variety of sources - from those I have communicated with who have passed away - both those who have crossed over and those who at first did not, from the guides and from experiencing for myself what people go through when they die. The last of these is something that happens when I ask about someone who has passed away on behalf of grieving loved ones. When I do so, sometimes I will be present with the person who is passing away and I will feel a muted amount of their pain, see what they see and hear what they think. It has given me great insight into a process that many people would prefer not to know about due to fear. I have learned that it is indeed a most beautiful and glorious experience - the antithesis to being born.
I ask that you read the entire article to get an idea of the full experience that people have. I don't assume that I know of every situation in existence, but I have tried to include as many as I can think of from my experience and over the years have recognized similarities in them that leads me to believe that you can have a better understanding of the Death process and how it affects us all by knowing this information.
Death is not a Dirty Word
I feel that it is important to discuss the word 'death'. Many people fear this word and have learned to associate it with misery, sadness, loss and pain so they of course have an instant negative reaction to not only the word, but the whole concept and even anything associated with it. This means that your brain works effectively and has been programmed to accept the word in this way.
But the word can also be a very beautiful one and you can also program your brain to see it from another angle that will help you to accept it a little easier. It allows those in pain to be released from that pain. I have seen cripples walk again and people who were shunned on our world, finally accepted, being welcomed with great joy and love.
The word is simply that - a word. We need one to describe the process so it helps to remind the brain that there are other sides to the use of any word and although we don't like to say goodbye to those we love, it is a temporary situation as we will see them again and they are much safer and surrounded with love than those of us who are left behind.
The Process Approaching Death
Like in life, how we approach things psychologically has an impact on the result. Death is no different. Those people who have died with an acceptance of it, welcoming the chance to return home without fear of being sent to a fiery pit of some sort always experience it with greater ease than those who are superstitious or have unsettled business with the life they have left behind.
The way a person dies affects them just as the way a person is born affects them. When we are born, if the birth is traumatic, it can have lasting effects on us psychologically and we will respond accordingly to those experiences. The death process has the same impact on those who have passed away, but only until they cross over.
I'm going to discuss the effects of the lead up to death, the death experience itself and the post-death experience.
The Lead Up to Death
It stands to reason that the type of death we experience determines how much time we have to think about our life and our impending death. Our beliefs also influence the process. Each person goes through their own journey of realization and it varies as to whether they deal with things before or after they die. Rest assured that if they don't deal with it before, then they will deal with it sooner or later after they die. The only difference is whether it is done before or after they cross over and how they make that journey as individuals.
Long Timeframes
Depending upon the way a person dies, the lead up to their death may or may not give them time to prepare for what happens afterwards. Long illness and a forewarning of upcoming death gives a person time to work through remaining issues from their life and a lot of people come to a conclusion on how they feel about their life and their death. Some of these people even achieve more at this time of their life than any other. It gives them time to work through the issues that they have long pushed aside. They have time (in many cases for the first time in their life) to ponder life and to remember the wonderful times they've had as well as to appreciate what they previously did not take the time to.
Their final acceptance of it guarantees them an easier passing in many respects because doubt and fear does not come in the final hours of their life.
Short Timeframes
Warning of an impending death without time to come to terms with it can be upsetting for the person it is happening to. In such cases, even at the moment of death, they may still be unprepared for it, making the actual death a surprise. Like in life where we are filled with adrenalin preventing us from feeling pain, a death in such circumstances can have the same affect and the person who dies can experience wonder and surprise at what has happened.
In many cases, regardless of how short the timeframe is, people do make peace with the fact that they're going to die. The only factor that can make this difficult for them is if they do not accept death as a natural part of life. While people are busy living a hectic life, the possibility of their own death is often pushed to the backburner as something they'll worry about when they're old and about to pass away. Many people don't take the time to ponder their life and death, believing that it will be a long time until they will experience it and will 'worry about it when it happens'.
Sudden Death
Sudden death can often produce two results in the person who is dying. It can be unexpected and therefore a surprise, often resulting in not knowing of the death or it can be traumatic (such as a victim of crime would experience) where they can be left with a need to be fulfilled before crossing over.
Unless the person has lived their life with a peaceful acceptance of death, often they will go through the process of how they feel about life and death after the death rather than before. It's not uncommon for the person who has died a sudden death to be focussing more on a situation to do with the physical world rather than themselves and what has happened to them.
Dying
Those who accept it
For these people, dying truly is 'returning home'. Relatives, friends, pets that we knew in the life they just left, as well as past generations, come to be with them and to reunite with them.
This moment is filled with great love and joy beyond anything you experience on the physical plane. Because we are half physical, half energy our experiences are 'muted' compared to what we experience on the other side, so the homecoming is extremely intense and filled with much love and compassion, belonging etc. that the person instantly feels blissful. This is a beautiful death. All pain is instantly forgotten, any fears or physical issues disappear.
This process begins before the actual death. Many people as the body dies, are often joined by family members who come to show them the way home and the person won't even see what is around them. Many times I have seen through their eyes. The hospital room suddenly disappears and all they see is a beautiful white glowing light. From the light, family come, guides, pets and friends with smiles of joy and love. A feeling of intense welcome and belonging comes over the person and the physical world is no longer a part of them or their world. For that moment, it is forgotten as the soul gently eases its way from the body. The process is not one that they are aware of and they will suddenly realize that all pain, fear and disabilities are gone. They will often look down upon their own body and those in the room they are in and understand that this is completely natural - even curious as to how they look to themselves (having seen a mirrored image for most of their life).
Those who do not accept it
Those who do not accept or expect their death before it happens can have a variety of experiences. I'm told by the guides that the loved ones etc. are always nearby as are the guides, but those who are unaccepting, do not necessarily see them.
These people usually miss the opportunity to cross over - not permanently, only temporarily until they are ready to go. I have been told by some spirits that they simply 'did not see' the doorway so they remained. In those situations, this was because their focus was on the issues and beliefs associated with the life they just left.
Post Death - What Happens
Those who accept their death and cross over
Those who have crossed over will not feel unsettled or experience a need for vengeance. The reason for this is because once they have crossed over, the concerns that they had for themselves in the physical world no longer are an issue. They now reside in a completely different sort of existence where they feel no pain, anger, fear or any of the sorts of physical things we would experience here so they don't have the need for vengeance.
This does not mean that the pain, fear etc. that they have learned is erased. Information does not disappear, but the individual goes through a period of healing phases and learning phases that allows them to move on. I have been shown situations where a person is surrounded by guides who are giving them much healing energy to help them adjust to the loving environment they are going to. This man had built up a lot of pain over the course of his life from when he was a child. He was angry, hurt, vengeful and ended up dying of cancer due to his frame of mind. For him, this healing process helped to remove the influences of the physical world. When you are in pain, the pain if your focus - it hurts - and it is difficult to focus on the lesson attached while you're experiencing the pain freshly. Some people don't get beyond this stage of the process and they can die with unresolved pain. The process of healing removes the pain so that they are then free to reflect on the situations they experienced and learn from them.
People will ask why then are people born with pain and difficulties from past experiences? The guides have explained that some key pain issues will remain with the person when they are born again should they choose to. This is a tool they use to help them once again achieve the learning they tried to on the previous occasion - sort of like a little reminder or to help them learn something new. They will instinctively respond to the pain and with hope will deal with the issue through the situations they experience in the new lifetime.
Example:
I once knew a friend who I could see had died in a previous lifetime from drowning and as a result, he had a fear of water. The look on the faces of those around us was nothing short of astounded because this person was a surfer and he absolutely loved his sport - lived for it, in fact.
He confirmed that indeed when he was a very young child, his father took him to the beach regularly in order to help him become used to water because he was afraid of water. In this way, he chose a lifetime where the early events would help him to overcome a fear and learn a lesson. He told me that he had learned from this that although he may come up against difficulties, he never allows them to stop him. He learned that he merely had to change his view on the situation from one of fear to one of coping. A valuable and wonderful lesson.
If you've ever had a connection with your guide where you are able to feel the love energy they share, then you will have a slight idea of what is being shared with the individual, but for them it will be much more intense. The closest word I can think of to describe the feeling is ecstasy (although not with a sexual connotation). I know this because the guides gave me a small sample of what it was like on two occasions so that I could describe it for others.
Heaven, The Other Side, The Universe (Whatever you want to call it)
It was nothing short of holy. This is not really adequate, but it's the closest word I can think of to describe the feeling of the place. It held such reverence and it was so special. I felt that it was completely devoid of evil and negativity. I was surrounded by beings with the most glorious smiles who flooded me with energy and while I heard no voices, I 'felt' them telling me they wanted to heal me, to love me, to help me, to hold me, to make me comfortable, absolutely anything and everything you could possibly think of that would give you the ultimate feeling of safety and love. I immediately recognized where I was and have had moments of homesickness off and on over the years ever since. The experience was instantly recognized by me even though I had nothing in my memory that was remotely like it. I knew this place. This was home and I suddenly understood why the Earth felt foreign to me - because while here, I am away from home.
The intensity of the emotions was so strong that I cannot truly describe it accurately. It was so sharp and so clear that even the strongest of emotions that I feel in this lifetime suddenly felt vague and washed out in comparison. So if you can take the most rapturous feeling of love and joy you've ever felt and times that by about 50,000, you'll be getting maybe a vague idea of what this experience is like.
And to top it off, I was only at the entrance to the place. The guides made it clear that I could not go any further as it would not be safe. I assume from this, they meant that my spirit would leave my body and remain - darn! (chuckle). So back to the black and white cardboard world I came after experiencing the true world of colour and experiences.
Post death for those who do not accept their death
Some will instantly have an understanding of their life and an acceptance of their death after it has happened. It's similar to the 'awakenings' and sudden understandings that some of us get over the course of our lives. In those moments, the person is suddenly healed of pain and questions disappear. They accept the wonderful process they are going through and will cross over as they should.
There are other situations where this will not happen. Some of these people often hang around longer before crossing over. This is a learning experience for them and they may need to or wish to resolve some things before crossing over.
Sometimes they do it quickly by visiting those people they may need to forgive or apologize to, or they may realize what they are doing and cross over. These people usually can cross over by themselves, but sometimes they need help to do it. These are the people that mediums deal with. They can wander for a long time - centuries in fact - and need to be helped across.
Examples...
1) I have heard of circumstances where a lover will search over lifetimes for someone they loved and will have to be removed and crossed over by a medium. They do not understand that although they may have shared something special in that previous lifetime, their beloved is not aware of them in future lifetimes and their presence can make them very sick. This is because people have physical reactions to spirit energy (same as negative energy) and it can have a variety of effects on us. (See articles: "Recognizing spirit presences" and "Energy Side-Effects" for more info). The spirits can also be left in a kind of 'limbo' which is really an existence of their own making.
2) There's a good example of this in the article "Natalia - spirit removal for DS", where the mother thought she was tucking her children into bed and singing them to sleep. The only thing with this is that those who have died, no longer have a concept of time and so 10 years can seem like a couple of days to them which as you can imagine can come as a great shock to them. Also they have no awareness of the physical world they are in and see only the image that is in their memory or thoughts. Not understanding that energy will create what they want, they mistake what they're seeing for being reality.
3) Ten years ago while performing a spirit removal, I met a lovely fellow from India who was annoying a friend of mine. When he was alive, he worked with elephants, using them to help build by lifting very large tree logs. He told me that they tended to work exclusively with each animal and that one day he was allowing someone else to work with his elephant. They were working in a very muddy location (I believe that they were building a dock or port for ships) and he slipped. In its attempts to avoid him, the elephant reared up causing a small commotion around him and a log was dropped. Unfortunately it landed on this Indian man and crushed him. The death was sudden and when he looked at the ships, I saw that these were the old sailing ships rather than modern day ships so this man had been continuing his work for centuries. His entire existence was this muddy area where they were still building this never-ending dock. When he eventually realized what was going on, I asked him if he had any clue at all that he had died. He did not, but he said that he did wonder why the seasons never seemed to change. But because he was in this existence in his own energy, he didn't think on it long enough to realize what was going on. It is fairly common to find that they do receive hints as to what's going on around them, but don't recognize or see it - similar to what we do when we're alive. It's not unusual for people to reflect upon a situation and realize that the signs were there, but they did not recognize them until afterwards.
Those are three examples where sudden death or not accepting death results in people living a continual existence of their making and as you can imagine, the circumstances change according to the situation involved. In a spirit rescue I performed several years ago, a woman from the US who died suddenly in a car crash saw herself forever waiting for a friend to come and pick her up and drive her home.
Those who intentionally stay - Those who are the victims of crime or feel that they have responsibilities can sometimes find it more difficult to cross over, believing that when they do, they will no longer be able to achieve their aims. So being unsettled, they will remain behind to resolve their issues.
Ownership is a classic example of this situation where the person has a very strong connection to something psychologically and cannot let it go. Two examples of this are...
1) Old Man - A man who built his home did not want anyone else to live in it so he stayed there and tried to shoo away anyone who lived there. This is not an uncommon one and can often lead to a situation where the spirit 'approves' tenants - scaring away those they don't approve of and leaving others alone that they do approve of. Trouble is that if the spirit is living in a similar situation to the previous examples where they're seeing their home even after it's demolished they can remain on the land, annoying those who build on it afterwards. Also, generally the energy of spirits, no matter how good their intentions are, affect us in a negative way.
2) Possessive Woman - A situation with a piece of jewellery occurred once where the woman was practically feverish about a beloved brooch and who it should go to after she passed away. She was adamant that she did not want it going to certain members of the family as she felt that they had stolen a lot from her when she was alive, so she unknowingly 'attached' herself to it and went with it everywhere. When I say she attached herself to it, I don't mean literally, but in her attempts to keep it out of their hands, her energy kept her bound to the brooch. She stayed with it to make sure that those people would not get it and eventually didn't want anybody having it.
Another reason people would remain on the physical plane is to do with responsibility. I was once shown a photo of a family at dinner and there was a spirit in the photo behind the grandmother. The spirit was a woman who had spent her life looking after her elderly grandfather so when she died, she continued to stay around him. She was not feeling guilty as much as feeling that her responsibility had not ended. When the grandfather died, she felt stuck because she wasn't sure how to cross over so she continued to stay with the oldest members of the family and look after them. In this case, it was the grandmother.
As you could rightly assume, victims of crime can fall into the category of those who intentionally stay. Their aim is to hold off crossing over until they have found the killer or tormenter to ensure that their story is heard, the killer is brought to justice or to ensure the torment for their families is finally eased. These are likely to be the people who will approach a medium for help, but not in all cases. Many of these people are ok with their deaths and cross over with no problems. They are then able to help connect with the family and ease their pain through an intermediary such as a medium or through dreams or other methods of letting them know that they're alright. I've seen many sad situations in the past where the grieving families convince themselves that the person would not be at rest, but this is not always the case as you will discover by reading on.
Further examples of why spirits will remain on the physical plane can be found in the article, "Why do we end up with spirits around us?"
Those who accept it
The people who have accepted their death tend to hang around for approximately 3 days on average, but it can stretch to one or two weeks before crossing over. I've not known many to take it beyond about 10 days, but it happens on the odd occasion if they're concerned about someone who still lives in the physical world. They use this time to pass on their thanks, their love and often they will attend the ceremonies that are held for them. If you feel the person around you, then remember to give them your message. They will hear it. They hear it from your thoughts and feelings. As they are energy, they no longer have the physical barriers of the body to block their ability to receive your messages so simple thoughts of love reach them easily.
If you do not get a visit from them, please don't worry. Sometimes they will say goodbye to those that they may not get the chance to visit often and then will spend more time connecting with family after they have crossed over.
As long term deaths are often traumatic on the families of the person dying, don't feel guilty about feeling some sense of relief - for the person who died and for yourself. This is healthy and normal. The person who dies always feels great love and thankfulness for your time.
Being there for them
Many people have come to me over the years with concern about whether their loved one knew they were at the bedside, or were upset that they were not, if they could not be there at the time. Let me assure you that if you were there, they knew, however the issue is often not one that even comes to mind. Once the family and friends start coming to them, the physical world is no longer something they are conscious of. They see something different and often the physical world is blocked out of their view. Their entire view is filled with love, acceptance and beauty, so there is no residual annoyance, worry or anger. The actual death itself becomes much less important to them than it seems to for those still here.
In the case of a person who has not accepted their death or who has a sudden death, it can be a little different. They will be likely to find that they are still on the physical plane and outside of their bodies. It is at this stage when their decisions, wants etc. will decide for them whether they cross over or remain longer.
It can be made difficult for them to cross if they visit you and find that you are not coping and I have seen on the rare occasion a spirit who feels that it cannot leave somebody's side due to their intense 'want' to have that spirit still around. This can make things difficult for the person who has died. Faithful pets have the same experience where they wish to remain with their grieving owner to try and help heal their pain - such beautiful little souls. People and animals alike have an intense pull to cross over, but the strong wishes of the person who is left behind can often pull their energy towards them and it can be a sort of emotional tug of war for them.
The best thing to do in this case is to understand that death really is a beautiful experience and that they are safe, loved and not really gone. They simply are without their physical body and can visit you now and then when it is possible and convenient for them to, even if you are unaware of it.
As you'll see, the only difference between these processes is when the person actually accepts their life and death and how they feel about such things as:
- the person they have been
- how they have been portrayed
- how others think of them
- what they have achieved over the course of their life
- whether they did enough to help others
- whether they forgave others
This process can be made simpler by understanding that at any given time, it may be your time to return home to the arms of love. Our time here is temporary and just a 'class' in the journey of our growth. The guides refer to it as being similar to boarding school where we're away from home for a short time in order to learn so when we do die, we are removing any homesickness and returning to where we know we belong and are loved.
Hell
The question will and should be asked...if the other side so strongly resembles heaven and other similar places you've heard about, then what of hell? Does it simply not exist?
This is not a question I asked of the guides as to be honest it's not really something that interested me, but they came to me one day and gave me a perspective I had never heard of before.
They said that hell is here. This physical plane including the planet earth is hell. It's possible that hell was once the word given to describe Earth and not properly understood by the recipient, I don't know, but the guides were very clear. They were attempting to remove incorrect assumptions that people have believed for centuries.
They asked me what hell was. After a moment of thinking, I answered that it was somewhere we supposedly went to when we sinned or did something wrong. Then they asked me why we would need to go there - what was its purpose? I answered that the purpose would have to be to learn from it. Otherwise it would have no purpose and to me this would mean it did not exist. The guides confirmed this to be correct. They said that the place referred to as hell is somewhere people go to learn.
In order to learn, we must feel pain. That's the only way to bring our attention to it. For example, if a child touched a hot part of the stove, the pain would draw their attention to it so they don't do it again. For those who have no nerves in their fingers, the fingers would burn and be destroyed. So just as nerves give us the signs of pain to pay attention and learn from what we're doing, so emotional pain does the same thing for our energy selves or our souls. Emotional pain to any degree is life and nature's way of saying "Hey, there's an issue here that you can learn from. Take notice and allow yourself to grow." We come here to learn.
If you think about the physical body, it is created perfectly for experiences. We have so many different senses - the entire body is one large computer, designed for taking in and processing experiences - so we can learn. The planet - any physical plane complements this perfectly. Rugged winds, water, snow, heat, dryness, smells, sights - everything about it creates a sensory response in us in some way. Fill the planet with souls who are learning and we then complete the picture by interacting and bringing to each other situations that we can each learn from. You then have the perfect soul learning school - Hell.
Why We Come Here and Why We Die
Yes, you go somewhere rugged and hard to experience pain. This is how we learn. This is where we come to have soul growing experiences and when we have completed this and learned the lessons we wanted to learn, that is when we die. This is why we die at any age and for any reason.
When we are young and our lessons have been achieved, the body has to find a way to expire. That's why they're made to degrade. Although the soul lives on, it's imperative that the body does not so we can return home and not remain stuck in the physical plane. When the guides first shared this information with me, I told a friend and he responded by asking "If we die when we've learned our lessons, how then do you explain still births for example?" I threw the question to the guides and their response was simple and immovable..."They have learned what they needed to."
From the guides' point of view, they tend to ask why we think we are in any position to judge when another should and should not die. This is for the individual alone to gauge and to decide upon. It is decided before birth and if we are able to play any role in the life of a person then we are aiding them in their quest to learn - this is a role of love, even if our role is one where we make them angry or otherwise. As some lessons can be very simple, it is possible that the soul of a still-born baby for example had to have learned his/her lesson and has been such a great success that he or she was able to return home very quickly. The babies who experience these situations are always so full of love for the mothers and fathers who helped them with the role and send intense feelings of love and thanks for those people who agreed to play this role in order to help the baby's soul to grow.
We often see the death of a young person as a tragedy - the younger, the more tragic. Often you'll hear people say "Oh, such a waste!" This is not the true reality. The reality is that this person has been a great achiever and has not wasted. It would be a waste to remain if there was no purpose. If you were away at boarding school and it closed for the summer?ould you sit around the playground with nothing to do when you can return home? Of course you would not and it is the same for each and every one of us.
When someone dies, the guides, the people on the other side rejoice and they gather together to congratulate the one who has died for achieving their goal of learning. It is such an exciting moment and I often see them waiting nearby in contained excitement for the moment that they can wrap their arms around the loved one and welcome them home. It's graduation and it's a great success. The amount of brightness, love and joy is tremendous and it's a moment of celebration.
While it's understandable that for us, it would seem a sad moment (usually due to the circumstances of the death), if we understand and see this for the success that it is, we are able to send them congratulations and a great deal of loving energy and wish them well until we are reunited with them - and we are reunited with them.
Suicide
I often have visits from the loved ones of people who suicide. They experience such pain and they usually want to know why. They seek answers as to why this person was so filled with pain that they needed to end their life. Like an illness, this is one way to end the life so that the person who has passed away can return home. They can experience the emotions for no seeming reason. I have questioned the guides on the situation with this, as some of them return to learn their lessons.
It seems that in some cases, they are allowed to end their life and try again should their soul feel so strongly about not coping with this lifetime. As learning beings, we make decisions and that means there is room for error. It must be feasible that we could make an incorrect judgement as to which lifetime will best suit the lesson we wish to learn.
In the course of my career, I have dealt with people who were suicidal. Many of them are experiencing great pain and just need to know that they're ok and that they will get through it. Some of them feel so keenly that they are somewhere they do not belong and these are the people who will feel the homesickness most strongly. It is possible that these people have recognized the error in the lifetime they have chosen and will eventually end it so that they can return to the correct one that will help them best. But in all truth, most of them are a great success who have learned the lessons they were meant to and were called home. The call is irresistible and while on the surface of it, seems to be sad, it is commonsense. If this world is brighter and more attractive than the other side, they would not leave. Things need to happen to make this world less of an attraction - to help the person let go. These people are often the greatest achievers of us all and are highly revered by the guides. If you have been the parent, friend or relative of a suicide person - particularly a teen, then you can congratulate yourself on having been able to help this person achieve what many cannot - accelerated learning.
Judgement Day
This is another issue that should be discussed as it is connected with the process of death and people worry about it. The guides are short and sweet on the subject of judgement. These are their words: "There is no one person who sits in judgement of all others. We are all individuals - all equal. The individual alone judges him/herself."
You may have heard how people see their life flash before their eyes. It's true - this can happen. In a fleeting moment people experience so much that they had forgotten - many experiences and feelings will be experienced and in this brief moment, the person will finally understand why they were here and what their life was about. It is at this moment that they make a judgement upon themselves and whether their life was a success. They will also have the knowledge of what they need to further learn. I have heard reports from people who worked with the elderly and those who were terminally ill and often I hear stories of the dying uttering words in their final moments such as, "I finally understand". It's interesting the number of these people who die with a look of peace and happiness upon their faces.
How Can This Info Help You?
To understand the process of death as it was explained by the guides, allows us the freedom of seeing it for what it really is. It allows us to help the process for our loved ones as well as ourselves. It truly is a celebration and a beautiful moment in the life of us all. By changing our views on it, we can aid ourselves in crossing over gently and with love, being able to enjoy the celebration that awaits us on the other side and return home with less baggage.
Even more importantly, it allows us to live our lives effectively and with true meaning. Make every moment count because your time here is brief and if your life is filled with pain, it means that you're a great achiever and you set yourself great tasks. Don't let it beat you - take it on with both hands and wring it dry of the learning you can make from it. Enjoy the feel of the wind on your face, the touch of the water and the smell of the flower for it may be sometime before you return to this world of sensations and above all, let's protect it and make it beautiful. If you have to endure pain to learn, we may as well make it in a place that is as beautiful to our senses as possible. This helps to cushion the pain.
Make your life count. It has to compete in your memory for the amazing and beautiful world you will encounter when you die and that's quite a task.